How Leading Others is Like Trying to Fix Your Golf Game

I thought that as a first-time leader working overseas my good intentions and my zeal for work would surely carry me through whatever unintended mistakes I might make in assuring our success.  How surprised I was to find I was no different from many leaders before me in experiencing my team’s problems as a personal challenge to my sense of control and credibility as a leader.

The feedback from my co-leader was straight and to the point: I was leading with excessive control, keeping my team members from working to their potential.  It was affecting how things got done: quality, follow-through, relationships with suppliers and customers.  I was placing too much attention on justifying my role and my approach to problems rather than on the overall mission and commitment of the team.  With this feedback, I now wondered what was the right way to get work done. 

Fortunately, at that time I recalled advice given me by a golf coach about approaching the game as well as life.  “Don’t think you’re going to get better by simply replacing your bad habits with better ones.  The truth is you will slip back into old habits.  The job is to catch yourself doing that sooner, and then, right then, step into the better way.”  

I took that to mean I would always be concerned with control and credibility but that I needed to use better habits.  In my case I should focus on how we got work done, and then catch myself straying.  Together our team needed to get clarity on what was expected and how to assess results.  And equally importantly, I needed to keep checking whether I was slipping into old ‘habits.’

That shift in my thinking allowed me to be more present with my team and co-leader.  That is, to listen, share, blend ideas, and use tools that built on this strategy.  These proved to be fresh, energizing approaches to our work and breakdown areas where previously alignment had been so difficult.